


almost

by labeautelivresque



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, M/M, POV Second Person, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 21:20:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19117933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/labeautelivresque/pseuds/labeautelivresque
Summary: you almost tell him. you don't. / complementary bagginshield poems, in ten parts.





	1. Thorin

**i.** you dream in shades of red. you watched your home devoured by flame, saw the trees lit like torches against the sky. sometimes, you wake in the night and feel as though you're still burning.

 **ii.** his home is warm, and safe, and comfortable. you envy it. you want this so badly, it's a constant ache in your chest. you try not to let it show.

 **iii.** he's beautiful. his eyes light up when he smiles, and you think to yourself that even the arkenstone has never shone as brightly as he does. 

**iv.** you don't deserve him, _you know_. there's so much good in him, it's a wonder that there's any goodness left elsewhere. 

**v.** you can still hear the screams, still feel the heat of the flames as they swallowed your world whole. he lays a hand on your arm. his touch is cooling, comforting. you almost tell him. you **_don't._ **

**vi.** you know what you have to do, and you will. even if it kills you. you think, he should not have come. you think, you are leading him to his death.

 **vii.** you do it. against all the odds, the mountain is yours. but it does not feel like home. it feels like suffocation. it feels like you're still burning. and soon, he will be gone. 

**viii.** he betrays you. you deserve it. you have become your nightmares. you are the dragon, and he is the home you would have destroyed. 

**ix.** he comes back. he _always_ comes back. and it is more than you deserve, but you are glad of it, all the same. you think, if you survive this, you will tell him. 

**x.** you always said that you would do this, even if it killed you. but now, you think that you would take it all back for just one more minute with him.

\- you love him. you don't tell him. the story ends.


	2. Bilbo

**i.** you dream of adventure, of magic and sword fights and dragons hoarding gold. it's a longing that you've tried to stifle, but this is in your blood. 

**ii.** he has no home. it was taken from him. and in spite of all your fears and worries and doubts, you vow that you will see it returned to him.

**iii.** he's beautiful. sometimes, he watches you when he thinks you can't see. his eyes soften, somehow, when he looks at you. you can't look away.

**iv.** you don't deserve him, _you know_. you wish you did.

**v.** if you could, you would expel the ghosts that haunt him. you would rid him of the dreams that leave him shaking in the night. he holds tightly to your hand as though he might lose you, and you almost tell him. you **_don't._**

**vi.** you know what you have to do, and you will. even if it kills you. you think, if this is to be the end, at least the story was good. at least he was a part of it.

**vii.** you do it. against all the odds, the mountain is his. but the victory feels hollow. he looks at gold, now, the way he used to look at you.

**viii.** you betray him. he deserves it. but you wish you hadn't done it, wish you hadn't had to hurt him. you have become his nightmares. you are the dragon, and he is the home you have destroyed.

**ix.** you stay. _of course you do_. you can't leave him, even now. there is relief in his eyes when he sees you. you think, maybe you are forgiven. you think, if you survive this, you will tell him.

**x.** he always said he would do this, even if it killed him. and as his hand rests cooling in yours, you almost resent him for it. _almost_.

\- you love him. you don't tell him. the story goes on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I was sorry for these, but... I'm not. Connect with me on Twitter @kath_lightfoot!


End file.
